The pressure of shoulds and musts

The pressure of shoulds and musts is a person imposing rigid obligations on themselves and on the world. Sentences such as "I must be perfect," "I should never get angry," or "everyone must approve of me" set up standards that are impossible to meet. When these obligations are not met, which they most often cannot be, the person feels guilt and inadequacy. Albert Ellis named this pattern "musturbation," emphasizing the pressure created by rigid shoulds and musts. The coach helps the client translate this language of obligation into a language of preference: instead of "I must," "I would prefer to."