The DESC model

The DESC model structures a difficult conversation in four steps: Describe, Express, Specify, and Consequences. It comes from Sharon and Gordon Bower's book Asserting Yourself. First the event is described neutrally, then the emotion it created is stated openly, then the desired change is specified, and its possible consequence is shared. The structure makes it easier to stay both honest and respectful. A clear request always works better than a blurry reproach.