Adults Who Act Like...
CevvelaAdults Who Act Like...
Doğan Cüceloğlu · Remzi Kitabevi · 1994
Summary
"Adults Who Act 'As If'," is a book that offers an in-depth psychological analysis of human behavior and social relationships. The book addresses the “pretend” behaviors we learn from childhood and continue into adulthood. These behaviors involve individuals hiding their true feelings, thoughts, and sense of self in order to gain social acceptance or meet the expectations of others. The book examines how individuals develop these types of behaviors and how they persist into adulthood. The author discusses how these “pretend” behaviors suppress individuals’ authentic selves and how this situation can negatively affect their psychological well-being. By offering readers an inner journey, the book helps them recognize their own “pretend” behaviors and provides practical suggestions for living a more authentic life. The author guides individuals toward better self-understanding and helps them shed these false behaviors so they can lead healthier and happier lives in alignment with their true selves.
Quotes from Cevvela
“A person who has not befriended their own inner world tries to fill their loneliness with the relationships they form with others.”
“So do these mothers and fathers have children just to crush them and do them harm?”
“A child who grows up being looked down upon and is ashamed of their true self tries to hide that shame by looking down on others. Scorning and belittling others can become part of their character.”
“People who grew up happy find something to be happy about in most situations. People who grew up unhappy find something to be unhappy about in most situations; the events that could make them happy are almost nonexistent.”
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The book Adults Who Act "As If" offers psychologically rich content that takes an in-depth look at the fake behaviors individuals exhibit in pursuit of social acceptance and approval. The book encourages readers to question how much they act “as if” in their own lives and to realize how such behaviors hinder their personal growth. The author’s use of accessible language to present psychological concepts, supported by personal stories, makes the book both engaging and thought-provoking. However, the book occasionally features repetitions and the same points emphasized in different ways, which may be overwhelming for some readers. Nevertheless, “Adults Who Pretend” carries a powerful message: Stripping away our false selves to reach our authentic selves is vital for both our psychological well-being and our social relationships. The book offers practical suggestions that can help individuals gain awareness in this area and lead more authentic and fulfilling lives.