Intuition Isn’t Enough
The choice of a coach is often based on intuition: “They made me feel good; they inspired confidence.” Intuition isn’t something to be completely disregarded. But it isn’t enough on its own.
Research shows that the quality of the coaching relationship—trust, rapport, and psychological safety—is far more decisive than the methods the coach uses. Structured questions complement intuition in evaluating this relationship.
The initial meeting isn’t about giving feedback to the coach; it’s a conversation where the coach is evaluated. It’s important to establish this distinction from the start.
9 Questions and the Logic Behind Them
1. “What is your coaching approach?” Can the coach explain their method? ICF ethical principles require the coach to transparently share their approach. A vague or generic answer—such as “I adapt to everyone”—is not a good sign.
2. “What areas do you specialize in?” Not every coach works on every topic with equal effectiveness. Career, relationships, entrepreneurship, leadership—does their area of expertise align with your needs?
3. “What does a session look like? Can you give an example?” Concrete examples, not abstract descriptions. How does the coach ask questions, provide feedback, and wrap up the session? A coach who can’t answer this question may not have fully internalized the process.
4. “How many sessions do you recommend, and why?” Be cautious of coaches who make guarantees—such as “You’ll see results in 8 sessions.” Every process is different. But “I have no idea” isn’t helpful either. Can they provide context-based guidance?
5. “Can you share any references?” Due to confidentiality, the names of previous clients may not be shared. However, anonymous references or reviews written by those who have experienced the coaching can be shared. A complete refusal may indicate a lack of transparency.
6. “Is there someone who oversees or supervises you?” ICF standards recommend that active coaches receive supervision. Very few people ask this question—but the answer demonstrates the importance the coach places on their own professional development.
7. “Are there situations where coaching doesn’t work?” An honest coach knows their limits. The answer “Coaching works for everyone” is both incorrect and unethical. Can the coach clearly distinguish between therapy, counseling, and coaching?
8. “How accessible are you between sessions?” Communication policy between sessions: email, text, emergencies? This is important for managing expectations.
9. “If you asked me, ‘What do I expect from this work?,’ what answer would you get?” When you ask the coach this question, you get a live look at how they ask questions. Are they directive, open-ended, or curious?
Red Flags
A few signs stand out during the first session: quickly answering “yes” to every question, making guarantees, switching to advice mode too early, or adopting an “I know what you need to do” attitude. These are possible signs that the coach hasn’t fully internalized the ICF ethical principles.
After the First Session
After the session ends, two questions can help: “Could I discuss something difficult with this person?” and “Can this person challenge me?” If the answer to both is “yes,” the foundation of the relationship is solid.
“The right coach isn’t the one who makes you feel comfortable; it’s the one who makes you feel uncomfortable in the right way.” > Adapted from the ICF Code of Ethics
Cevvela’s Perspective
- The quality of the coaching relationship is more decisive than the method; the initial session should be used to test this relationship.
- The 9 questions assess the coach’s competence, ethical stance, and the transparency of the process.
- ICF certification is required but not sufficient on its own; area of expertise and relationship compatibility are also critical.
- Red flags: guarantees, jumping to advice too soon, refusal to provide references, and a “I can help everyone” attitude.
- The initial session isn’t just for the client; it’s a conversation where the coach is evaluated.
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